Chicago Re-elects Davidson Posthumously

Residents say there was no other good alternative

Story by Loretta Sikes

Denizens of Chicago have once again re-elected Tom Davidson mayor, granting him his tenth consecutive term as mayor of the city. There’s only one problem: Davidson died two weeks before the election.

“Everyone knew he was dead,” Andrea Shooter said, her voice full of frustration. Andrea had been the only person to run against Davidson in the election, and when she died most people assumed it would be a landslide victory in her favor. But residents of Chicago had an unexpected trick up their sleeve. Despite the fact that Davidson had died, his name remained on the ballot.

“The ballots had already been printed, and since no other contestants made an effort to run after Davidson’s death, we decided to keep the existing ballots,” Carrol Dean, head of the election committee said in an interview. “We didn’t think having his name on there would have been a problem. After all, everyone knew he had died.” That didn’t stop residents from showing up to the city elections in droves, many of them casting their ballot in support of Davidson.

“Honestly, you know, Davidson was the best mayor we’ve ever had,” a long-time Chicago resident told one journalist stationed outside of one of many voting locations. “I just didn’t feel that anyone else was capable of doing the job.” The sentiment was apparently widespread: Davidson won by a 13 point margin.

“I just can’t understand it,” Shooter said. “I had a great plan, and I was going to do a great job.”

Normally, to combat situations where fictional people or historical figures are mistakenly elected via fill-in ballots, procedure dictates that the city council select a new mayor. The problem in this case is that Davidson, though dead, does still exist.

“His family had him cloned, and so he does not fit the definition of fictional person as defined in the city bylaws,” a city councilwoman said. “These bylaws were created before cloning was possible. We have no way to handle a situation like this.”

The fate of Chicago’s government remains in the air. While the current politicians argue over what to do, many citizens already have the same idea.

“If Davidson’s being cloned, then he can be mayor again, and we can take things right back to where they were,” one citizen said. Many citizens agree on this point, but when asked how a newborn would be able to administrate the city, most of them simply shrug. “Can’t do worse than anyone else.”

Think this is entirely too far-fetched? Think again.